It was my cousin sis Sarwat marriage going to take place in Kolkata on the 28th December 2012.We were all present for the marriage. The next day came the news of my father in law ( FIL ) sudden ill health of extremely low blood count and he being admitted in the hospital for blood transfer. My husband (Azim ) started to panic but then the assurance came from his mother that there was nothing to worry so much and that things were under control. Azim return to Kanpur with his elder brother was pre-scheduled on the 31st morning. Soon after his return a call came to me that my FIL has been put on ventilation and his survival was not possible. The same evening he died. I took a flight the next morning and was present on the cremation day. Soon after a week my husbands maternal grandmother died. two deaths within a week shook all the members of the family and the most affected person was my MIL. It was indeed an extreme hard blow on her.
My FIL was a very nice, simple person. Five years back he was diagnosed with throat cancer. The tumor in his throat was surgically removed thrice for three consecutive years due to re-occurrence. From 90 kg his weight reduced to mere 65. He used to be a tall, broad man with an attractive personality but after the third surgery which was followed by radio therapy, he gradually started shrinking. He completely stopped eating due to the excruciating pain in his throat. We used to feed him through nasal pipe. The person who was a food lover now never wanted to eat. Sometimes at the dinner table he would forget and lift something to eat soon realizing his inability to swallow, would keep the food back on the plate with a grieving expression on his face.After few months he gradually started liquid diet followed by semi solid, non spicy food. He loved Chinese food, Hot & Sour soup and golden fried prawns were his favourite. We used to take him to a Chinese Restaurant where he happily used to order his soup and prawns. After taking the first sip he could not take anymore because of the spice. One or two prawns was the only things which he could enjoy accompanied with a sweet drink which used to soothe his throat from the spice.
After getting radiation although his weight reduced drastically but finally he was cured of cancer. But why did he get the throat cancer? That was a big question for all of us. He never ate tobacco, drank alcohol not even cigarrette he smoked, then why? He was a lover of tea but very hot tea. He used to gulp down the tea served soon after boiling. That was the cause of his tumor. His throat was burnt.The cells got damaged because of the extreme hot liquid. Drinking tea took away his life. Although he died of a heart attack but it is all linked with his ill health caused due to the dreadful Cancer. He had become a patient of Dementia, forgetting things easily, not recognizing people. He suffered from hear loss and could hear only 20% which often lead him into depression and insecurity. He used to cry like a baby on petty matters. In his last days he had become too weak, bent and shaky. Like a child he collected pebbles from the decoration in the drawing room, thinking it to be real gems and kept those in his safe.
In my husband house my FIL was the person who used to love me the most. Pamper me by calling me his daughter. I always got a lot of warmth and love from him. He used to get happy in my happiness. keep pouring to me fatherly advise whenever I needed. If I oiled his hair, he showered me with loads of blessings and love. I MISS HIM and will always have a resentment that I was not present when he took his last breath. I could not do anything for him when he needed the most.
No matter who ever dies but life just go on. Kin of the dead continue to live, soon forgetting the dead. People indulge in all worldly activities. We eat, sleep, laugh, bath and do everything required. Whatever will come of help to me after my death will be my good deeds. Apart from worshiping Allah, the best deed is to keep people around you happy. Helping the needy gives you a deep sense of satisfaction which no materialistic thing can ever impart. My view is that do all the good deeds quickly and do not postpone as you never know. Today you can help because you are healthy or wealthy but both health and wealth has to go away someday and it is a vicious circle which continues......
